Funny. Smart. Reliable. Trustworthy. Polite. Aware. Realistic. Charming. BINDASS. Shaista Siraj is all this, and so much more.Which begs the question: Who is Shaista Siraj?
Shaista Siraj, is exactly what her name means: Polite. Desires support and encouragement in all her goals. Extremely dedicated and very intelligent.
If I were a wizard, and if I were to produce a Patronus, my happy memory would definitely include Shaista Siraj and her kid.
So many happy memories and so much fun. Good times. :) I've always had a certain level of comfort with her. I could share just about anything with her, without the fear of being judged or disapproved of. She is a gem. Genuine and VERY realistic.
She once hit me on my knuckles. Something no one EVER did. She did that so that today, I can proudly say I cleared my Math Boards with flying colours. Yes, she tutored me through my worst nightmare. I'm ever indebted to her. Looking back, I think our little of our brainstorming sessions with a contented smile. Yes, her efforts ushered me through what seemed like an unsurmountable challenge. Ever grateful.
She gave me mini treats and our little evening junk feast...was to die for. She made the best French fries and garlic sauce. Not to forget, the soup that I loved to gorge on.
And since I'm talking food, how can I NOT mention Pani Puri, Samosa Chat and Maggi...oooops, Top Ramen? Love for food brings people closer. True story. ;)
Party planner. Party organizer. Party executor. LIFE OF THE PARTY.
Sans Shesto, any party would be a congregation of bored souls wondering when Shesto
would be back. Sleepovers. Parties. Rain Dance. With her, everything is a riot.
She is a fun bomb. ATOM bomb.
What I'll miss about her?
The fact that she always kept a straight face and heard all my nonsense out. Ever so patient, ever so beautiful.
An inspiration. She taught me how to make the best of both worlds. When there were days she talked to me about Islam and Hadeeth...there were also days when we drooled over Harry Potter, Vampire Dairies and SRK. She is the only person who let me read the DaVinci Code without batting an eyelid. Anyone else, would've blown me up. What more? We watched the movie together! How I'm gonna miss talking to her about the next addition to the Dan Brown series or trying to figure out the plot of an upcoming movie. And of course, our secret "let's go watch a movie" missions...that were NEVER successfully executed :P
What next? Here you go:
BOOKsoulMATE! I have never bought or read a book without thinking, "Shesto should read this too!" I'm in awe of her multi-tasking abilities. Cook. Work. Play. Laugh. Bring up a tornado. Smile through all of it. Yeah, Shesto does it all, without breaking a sweat. She's a rockstar all the way.
I've learnt so much from her. Though I'm sure she knows nothing about it. Surprisingly, she hasn't even noticed that she figures on my list of "Inspirational People" on Facebook.
She has been a tremendous positive influence for me. DARN! She is perfect. :)
As Tony Morrison puts beautifully:
A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.
Ah, so that should answer your question.
Shaista Siraj, an inspiration. A guidance.
A sister I never had.
In the study of Science, I've learnt to find Philosophy. Heisenberg was right. One can never be certain about the turn of events in Life. So much so, that even atoms at the microscopic level scream of this reality. "Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle," for anyone else would just mean a series of painful equations. But ah, oblivious they are to the fact, that Science-is Life.
As a student of both Science and Art, I have come to appreciate the nuances, the finer details of life. Right from studying the venation of a Ficus leaf for an art exam to physiology of the same in Botany tells us so much about life. It's all one big network. Science, Art, Math, Literature...all proclaiming the same Universal Truths, only viewed from different angles of the same kaleidoscope.
It's fascinating really. How this huge supine yet dynamic monster of a Universe functions. How the littlest of object serves its own function, in its own way...yet controlled by that One Supreme Being. Iam often intimidated at my nothingness in this world. We know that the Human species is the most advanced in all the world. And YET, we are just tiny dots from the window of an aeroplane. What might we be, from the Highest Ascent, The Seventh Heaven, I wonder?
Who would've ever known that qualities of one minute bacterium would go on to produce food for several thousands of people? Or that a butterfly would mime another, mightier butterfly just to save it's skin- or rather- wings? And how about a lone pine tree somewhere out there bracing the blizzard in the Arctic that sheds it's toxic leaves, to eliminate other vegetation around it? Allelopathy, Science calls it. Philosophy calls it The Survival of the Fittest. A military officer would call it Defence Stratagem. I would call it Allah's Genius.
Pure GENIUS. With the ever increasing exposure that I get towards Science, Art and Literature I have come to appreciate Allah's swt handicraft. Divine. Ingenious. Miraculous.
Why look so far away? Stand in front of the mirror and behold the living, breathing miracle that you are. Every part of this perfectly crafted body has it's own story to narrate. Even the littlest strand of hair grows and falls for a reason. Every cell exists to fulfill its role. There are no "extras." No wastage.
So very often I feel stumped, holding a paintbrush in my hand trying to figure out the numerous shades and hues of a slice of watermelon, or a bunch of grapes. Mystified Iam. Such diversity, and yet so united. And then to think of all these extraordinary feats all accomplished by the flick of a hand. The Seven Days that laid foundation for Seven Generations of perfection.
Sit back, observe and take in everything around you. That gentle breeze that runs it's fingers through your hair, the bright sun that sends a drop of sweat down your neck. A glacier that melts some 8,848 metres above the ground...it's pristine water that meets the river, to finally end, in an endless expanse of beauty. Serenity as far as the eye can see, and beyond.
Absorb and be gratified. Close your eyes and breathe. Breathe out all the anger, all the hatred. Flush out the envy, rage and grief that nags your heart. NO, this world has no space for petty issues. Our life is like the stroke of a brush on a canvass yet to be finished to perfection. Let not our (in)human attributes slash this unfinished canvass like a blade.
This world is perfect. As perfect as it can be. The lens that WE view it through is distorted. Sit up, take notice. There's is a lot to be unraveled. Lots to be uncovered and a whole lot more to be thought about. And I wouldn't be wrong if I say that its all staring at us in right the face. Awaken from this ignorant slumber and rub the fuzziness from your eyes. Initiate. Innovate. Create- TODAY.
She's mute. He's blind. Worse, they are friends.
She loves him but can never tell him. Already nursing a broken heart, He is blinded in pain. Together, they attempt to alleviate each other's grief. The tension just exists, and none knows why. Tackling it with humour and jest, they've come to live with it.
SHE loves him unconditionally. Deep within, she knows it's a lost cause. Her future shows her a cul-de-sac, love that she can never hope to receive in return. Hopelessly in love, She accepts Her defeat with silent resignation and tired smiles.
HE lived through his personal nightmare. Losing out on more than He could ever gain, He was certain He would never love again. His only respite comes from Her, so beautifully brave, focused and hopelessly optimistic. He calls Her His best friend. In fair-humoured taunting and innocent abuse they share the most intense of emotions. Together they give the other a smile, a hope and maybe even a reason to live.
She likes it. The knowledge that someone She knows values Her so much. There is not a shred of doubt in Her mind regarding His loyalty. He proved to Her- beyond any shadow of distrust- the honesty in His friendship. Friendship. Never Love.
He likes it. That even when everything was gone, He could look up to her and never be let down. She would smile at him, tell him that it's not the end. She would wipe away that persistent fog in his head and point zealously towards His bright future. She could read Him, know what was ailing him. Then, she would do everything in her power to cut that frown, copy Her smile and paste it on His face.
Two people, facing a storm, each inspiring the other with stories of survival.
Sometimes, many times, She hugs Her pillow and sheds a silent tear. Only She knows the red hot agony that tempers Her heart. How many times will She try to embroider His punctured heart? How many times will He come to Her asking relief from his tormenting past? Because each time He does, He opens up the wounds that She has been trying to nurse all alone. Wounds that haven't had the time to heal completely. Wounds that She dare not tell Him about.
His past destroys Her present. Is She just a medium of distraction? A source of brave words which will only spread light, never warmth? IS HE REALLY THAT BLIND?
The answer, no one knows. Maybe not even Him.
So this was to be it. She would/could never tell Him. He would/could never see it. Sounds like fun, eh? Try it.
Now all that is left for them to do is carry that pain around. Maybe share it. But never let it go. Because one's Pain was the other's Elixir. Without that, there was nothing.
In shadows they were to spend their lives, because light they couldn't find.
In lies they were to hide, because the truth was harsh, unkind.
And thus continues their story- The Game of the Mute and the Blind.
Unexpected.
Yes, thats the word. Totally UNEXPECTED.
Yet, today, as Im penning this down, I realise it was meant to be. Nothing changes destiny. The good, the bad, the ugly...all preconceived by the sly hand of Kismet.
I still shut my eyes, rub them vigorously and pinch myself. The same question, over and over again. The pain makes my heart skip a beat. YES! All this is for REAL!
And today, you gave me the biggest joy of my life. Something, that is like the shiny wrapping paper on a beautiful gift...YOU.
Like the cherry on a delicious cake, like a little golden star atop a Christmas tree, this day, has become the highlight of this newly commenced year.
WOW. Im awestruck. Considering myself somewhat of a person-of-words, I now feel inadequate. For now words cannot encompass all the ecstasy your little victory has given me. No big and heavy word can come even an inch close to expressing my satisfaction and sheer delight. A PERFECT gift to celebrate that act of Destiny that made it all happen!
DAMN! I swell with pride to think how we made through. And dammit...im EXCITED!! There is so much more...and as I sit and anticipate, I tingle with nervous excitement.
Life is so so so soo unpredictable. Pointless it is, to wonder what we'll run into 'round the corner. The mantra is to LET GO. Do one's BEST, and leave the rest to God. Prayers never fail man. Delays, yes. But never denial. :)
YAY! "Tu Na Jaane Aas Paas Hai Khuda!!"
He is listening! Smiling down upon you right now. He is masterminding your life, so you emerge bigger, better and stronger.
What you lived through, is worthy of applause. And guess what? You've improved in ways that you can never contemplate.
PHEW! What you DO know, is that you'll never have to scale the Everest alone. Come Hell or High Water, seek solace in the knowledge that the people who wish to see you scale the summit, still exist. :)
Nasrum Minallahi Wafatahun Qareeb.
I watch you as you walk away, with unfocussing eyes. I had never aniticipated it would end this way, that one day your back would be turned against me. The only Heaven I knew was in your embrace.I found Peace in those warm hugs. I seeked Solace in those deep black eyes, Courage from that blinding smile, Hope from those beautifully brave words. Words which strengthened me, made me believe that YES, we would win some day.
That day never came. And Im standing here today, awestruck at the power of words, infact, just one- BYE.
You walked away with your arms digging deep into your pockets, a tune playing on your i-pod. Not even once did you look back at the girl whose world you had shattered. That very world, that you had helped her construct. The Utopia that existed in her dreams, her mind, her heart. In one stroke, you had ripped my life off me. Watching you walk away with that stone cold heart, I found no voice, no soul within me.
You never looked back as I stretched my hand out and begged for you to come back. Was it so easy for you? For your heart to just let go? Was it so easy to say Goodbye as you made it sound?
Frankly, I do not care.
The voice in my head screams at me, commands me to move on. This time, Im taking heed. I've had enough of those fantasies you spun for me. At the cost of dead soul and a broken heart, I've realised that you were a nightmare. A terrible and morbid nightmare. I've woken up to face the reality...a world which has no respect for the rubbish that you had grilled into me, the stories of love that I had readily believed. None of that now.
All things happen for the best, they say. Never believed a word of that. NOW, I do. I never felt more rejuvenated than this before. I now understand how challenging it is to walk with your eyes shut, hypnotised, through a world that is so complex, so welcoming, so REAL. With you now gone for good, I've shaken off my demons. You are nothing but a worthless figment of my memory, that rests in the dustiest corner of my brain.
If one day you wake up to realise my worth in your life, just remeber one thing- it's too late.
Goodbye, loser.
Good things happen when you meet strangers.
And I'm a living, breathing testimony to that fact. We find people everywhere. Down the lane, on the main road, in a supermarket, at a mall, school, college...just everywhere.
And out of the multitude of people that we come across, a very tiny fraction just strikes a chord. Soon enough, there are friends, best friends, 4 a.m. friends, soul sisters...FAMILY.
Now as I look back to reflect, I'm in awe. Luck, destiny, fate, kismet..call it just anything. I have bumped into complete strangers. I have seen that initial hesitant strangeness fade away, i have experienced the familiarity set in, and I have been bound to those relations with cords that can never fray away.
With that, time has come to mention a few chosen ones. Friends that I have proudly cherished for one decade, and still going strong!
Neha Sultana, Mehvish Razvi, Syeda Arshiya. I have no clue how I should even begin about them. Besties for 10 long and amazing years. Where so much was understood without a word being exchanged. Where one began a sentence, and the other ended it. Where no formality existed. Where we stuck on like glue while the world tried incessantly to pull us apart. Definitely a friendship whose trumpets I should like to blow. We hung on like the Great Wall of China, blew away anybody who bothered. Yes there were cracks, huge ones at that. They just did us stronger. :)
Ten years, ten months, ten weeks, ten days or ten minutes. Time, is not the measure of a timeless friendship. Sheema Safana Ali, although I consider myself extremely blessed to have met you, I lament not having met you earlier. Even more so because, aaargh, we were classmates...BENCHMATES!!
Pondering over it, I cant help but feel sheepish. The last term at school saw just so much...bonds broke, people broke, and yet, friendship blossomed. Ours definitely did. In a way that seems so stupid, and yet, here we are, self proclaimed Soul Sisters. I love you. :D
People come together in a crisis, they say. I say, a crisis isn't a crisis anymore, when people come together. Naila Iqbal, I say that keeping you in mind. Lotuses bloom in muck. We, bloomed in college. Not much difference, is there? ;) I frankly never expected a friend in college. Life, as always, packed a surprise in the form of that tiny girl with a golden heart and matching scarves. Seven months down, and we know enough about each other to pen down each others Biographies. The people we hate, the people we adore, the things we like, the things we detest. I wouldn't have shared these similarities with my own sisters! Naila Iqbal, my tombstone would have read "Nida Fatima: 1st July 1994-10th June 2010," had it not been for you. Thank you. :D
Sometimes, God just smiles down upon a chosen few. He did on me too. And indeed, he presented me with a gift I would never like to depart with. Nishi "Khan", Iam, undoubtedly, the luckiest person ever to have you in my life. You make me feel special. Your presence strengthens me, delights me, gives me a reason to smile. I still cannot believe that we ended up like we did. Against all odds, against all hurdles, we still made it, didn't we? It gives me immense satisfaction to think about what each of us have been through. School, wasn't really kind to us in that aspect. Neither was college. However, we decided to never let go. A decision I shall never regret. If there is one person who knows even the microscopic details of my life, its got to be you. We've endured. Escaped unscathed. And now there is no looking back. Thank you for taking that one bold step. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for being just the way you are. You mean the world. :D
Pheew, there is so much that needs to be said about those people mentioned above! Yet, words fail me. These "strangers" are the ones that complete my life. Without them, It would have been like being lost on an island without a map. Would've been like drowning in the Atlantic without a beacon light in sight. Simply put- it would mean death.
As words begin to desert me, I would simply borrow Kishore Kumar's words:
"Ye dosti, hum nahi chodenge,
Todenge dum magar,
Tera saath na chodenge."
