Caged Yearnings

"It's my life. It's now or never. It's my life. I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive. It's my LIFE."

BonJovi came so close to summarizing the story of my existence! Yes, this is a life I was blessed with. It's mine. And just because you know how much you mean to me, do not deceive yourself into thinking you can manipulate my life, in any possible way.But yet again, that has been happening to me at every crossroad of life. SOCIETY has dominated and ruled over every major decision of my life. PEOPLE began to believe they could take over a girl's life. A girl too weak to write the chapters in the book of her life. Why weak? Beacuse she's small. Merely a teen. Lively, enthusiastic...unaware of the "big bad world" out there.Which begs the question, "Was I born blind? Or did God substitute my brain with vacuum? "I've seen the world. It's dark, dismal. Not a soul I know is genuinely pleased with where he/she stands. And the people I see who smile their outwardly smiles, are already dead within.They tell me they've tackled life. That they've had glorious, fulfilling lives. They tell me they're happy. Happy beacuse they stuck to custom. The tried and tested formula of untangling the mess that started taking shape while we lay floating in amniotic fluid.

"Follow what your ancestors did, you'll never go wrong," they tell me.

"Am I a sheep?" I ask in return.

It's true, for a human community, we have an undesirably large number of sheep. I have my aspirations. A girl of the present times, I know precisely what I need to live a life that agrees with my version of "happy." People I know (including me) have been controlled by those who believe they have the right to dictate. A majority succumbed. No one stood up and stuck their neck out. No one stomped their foot and took a firm stance against the society. And when I finally muster the courage and tell the world "this is what I want," they pull me down like a treacherous bog.

"I'm going to be a Doctor"

*applause*

"I wish to be a Journalist"

*verbal bashing*

"What will you earn? How will you feed yourself? Who will ever marry you? Will you ever get settled? It's against what we've thought you. Don't you see? Become a doctor, you'll have a SAFE life. "Safe? Do you need more articles in the newspaper to know depression makes one suicidal?

The society, is nothing but a crowd. A crowd of such anguished souls lost in the maze of life. Such negativity in their DNA that if someone wakes from that slumber and points towards the light, they reject him outright. It would disappoint Charles Darwin to know that it is a part of their genetic sequence now, to resist change, even if it is for the better. Because custom has staled them. Destroyed the power of independent thought. Like zombies, they wander. Aimlessly, groping in the dark.So is it justified, for this...crowd, to steer somebody else's life over to their side? Personally, I neither know, nor care. Because I've had enough of people, I'm through with it. Call me names, disown me, do what you want, you mean NOTHING to me. You are just another face in a sea of other faces.

"My heart is like an open highway, like Frankie said I did it my way. I just wanna live while I'm alive..."Yes BonJovi, you said it right. It IS my life. It is my novel that is yet to be written. How it ends, I cannot fathom. All I know, is that now, I weild the pen. And I'm moulding my life the way I want it to be. My rules, my ideas, my twists, my turns.The society can go and suck it.

Cheers to Life!

The 'good' is only appreciated in contrast with the 'bad.'
The value of joy can only be measured against pain.
For without these contrasts in life, neither would there be a dawn, nor dusk.
Neither would there be a reason to wake with an aim, nor a moment of introspection before sleep.
Life would be reduced to a stagnant reality, aimless and devoid of growth.

Pain is mandatory for growth, the wise have said. We have been taught into believing that success cannot be tasted by those who haven't been thrown to the dogs in the past. They say life is a mortar and pestle and only those who can take the grind, survive.

I agree, but only partially. We have been a generation of humans obsessed with glorifying pain. Every little hurdle is a reason to groan for, every road-block a reason to slump, every failure a reason to cry.
We're giving up every single second. We make a waste of each breath we take, and rightfully deserve. So occupied we have been with miseries, that the very abstract of happiness has become obsolete. The line of contrast has been smudged beyond recognition and only a grey muck remains.

I hit a phase just like the one described above, only recently.
Situations went off-handle, and I found my maturity levels inadequate of controlling events. After all, we learn from what we experience, we don't carry it from the womb.
Life is a rabid bitch, we've all learnt. I experienced its manifestations first-hand. A twist in the tale, a turn of the tables, a shuffle of the cards...I can give it so many titles! Maybe even the Dementor's Kiss? (to satiate the Harry Potter freak in me!)
So what did I learn out of this particular experience? Like the biological rabies, the bite from this bitch comes with its anecdote as well. That like Dementors from fiction, these demons too can be warded off by a Patronus.

Now, what was the first requisite to cast a successful Patronus?
JOY. HAPPINESS.

As bizarre as it may sound, nothing dries tears faster than a smile.
But how does one exactly conjure a false sense of delight in a seemingly hopeless situation?
I fought it out. With each new morning, I set out to snatch whatever shred of happiness I could find. I struggled against choking tears to plaster a smile across my lips and courage over my face. Wore my favourite colours, smiled at random people, helped out a friend in need, tried every manoeuvre that could keep me occupied on a mental level. When I thought I was going to falter, I told myself that I don't deserve the pain. I gave myself the responsibility of keeping me happy. I made happiness my top priority.

The result amazed me. The tiny tiny bits I was collecting culminated into a beautiful silver Patronus. That smile struggling through tears? It was finally free. Uninhibited. It was somewhere around this time I understood the significance of these very popular lines:

"Dil jo tera baat baat pe ghabraaye, dil pe rakh ke haath use toh phusla le.

 Dil idiot hai pyaar se usko samjhaale"

Theoretically, it may sound bizarre. Practically, it is a major challenge. But the result it will yield, is worth every bit. The point of the matter is, you deserve cheer in the same way you deserve the oxygen you breathe.  Not a force in the world can snatch it away from you. Never, ever, give up the pursuit of happiness.

And if life is a bitch, shrug, and say Bitch Please!