My Leibster!

I have been nominated for posts, I have made it to the final stages of competitions, I have won and I have lost. But this is a whole new experience- Blog Awards!

This is the Leibster blog award- for those with relatively obscure blogs having less then 200 followers. So what's the point here? The point is that recognition is the best form of motivation. This time, I got recognized by my dear dear dearest friend, who very graciously nominated me for the award!
Being nominated comes with some duties, some blog etiquette. The nominee is required to nominate 10 other bloggers who fit the bill, answer 10 general questions and pose another 10 for the nominees. None of this is a compulsion, it is fully voluntary.
Let's get started.

Sheema Ali of the mythoughtsreloaded fame. I love your blog to bits Shim. I love how it documents the nitty-gritty details about your life; some good, some bad and some ugly. We started blogging for very similar reasons, mostly motivated by the instinct to write. Today, I'm so super proud of you. Ye le tera award :P

Then there is my laddoo woman, Shonazee Aziz Somani. Borrowing Robert Frost's wise words, this girl talks about dreams, hopes and faith. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Life Goes On...
This girl writes effortlessly with precision that goes straight to the heart. Sense, Sensibility, Simplicity.
Le tereko bhi diya award :*

Sakshi Singh, of the beautifully titled blog: Rooh..
I love the use of photography in your posts, it adds so much 'rooh' to your writing! I don't quite know how you stumbled onto my blog, but I acknowledge you as one of my favourite followers. Being an active blogger needs time and energy, which leaves me in awe each time I see a new posts from you (which happens quite too often!)
My Leibster to you Sakshi, for such a diversified and genuine blog.

This is the problem with being such a selective blogger; I have only 3 nominees, when the requirement states 10. Can't help :P
Moving on to the fun part: the questionnaire!


1- Describe yourself in one word.
Sincere

2- Your favourite quote.
Fa inna ma'Al 'usri yusra (For indeed, with hardship will be ease)
Inna ma'Al 'usri yusra (Indeed, with hardship will be ease)
-Quran [94: 5,6]

3- Favourite book.
Can never name just one!
-Atlas Shrugged
-The Fountainhead
-Harry Potter series
-Dan Brown series
and a hundred million more...

4-  If you could live permanently in any decade, what would it be?
Lovely question!
I'm not too sure about the exact historical era, but it would definitely be during the 17th century, Italy. The era of Michelangelo, Bernini, Vasari and the likes, the decade of artistic revolution and some exceptionally creative minds. I'd probably have painted a fresco at St. Peter's Basilica for all I know :D

5- What place would you like to visit (free of cost?)
Free of cost? Outer space, fosho!

6- If you could have dinner with someone dead/alive, who would it be?
Anyone who'd pay the bill xD

7- A perfect evening is?
-Rain on the window pane, a book propped open on my lap, a mug of piping hot coffee. <3
-An evening spent talking to that one amazing friend, for hours...endlessly. <3

8- Share one thing that is on top of your bucket-list.
LIVE.

9- What motivated you to start blogging?
Ah, nice one. My blog came into being with one simple agenda: to write.
I had never fore-planned the course or the essence of my blog, it was only to be a channel for all that mumbo-jumbo in my head. Gradually things took their course and my  blog became more and more personalized. It was never created for publicity or propaganda.

10- What is the best part about being a blogger?
No one pronounces a 'verdict,' no one judges. Blogging becomes a getaway when the world shuts it's ears to you. A blogger's life is always catalogued, like a frozen frame captured in the mundane flow of life's events. So when you scroll through your blog life cycle, you'll realize how much you have been through and how much more is yet to come.

THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN! Here are my questions to those I nominated up there.

1- One personality trait you are proud of.
2- One personality trait you wish to replace.
3- Beauty vs Utility. What do you prefer?
4- What is your take on selflessness? Do you believe it exists in the world that we live in today?
5- Describe the Utopia you wish to see.
6- If you were granted a reincarnation of choice, you would be?
7- Earth. Air. Fire. Water. Your element, and why?
8- If you were to write a book, what genre would it be?
9- Your favourite word in the English language?
10- What does the fox say? xD

Get started bloggers!

Cherophobia.

I've realised over a considerable span of time that this cyber-space that I call my 'blog' is simply my hideout. A place I retreat to after I turn my back against everything else. My blog is where all my junk is stashed.

This time, the junk comes in the shape of paranoia...well at least that is what people say it is. The overly critical sci-fanatic in me calls it Cherophobia: the phobia of happiness.
What sounds like blasphemy on face value is actually one of the most realistic things I have ever felt. Fear.
The few intermittent moment of happiness, choked into silence by fear, the fear that this too shall be gone.
As a medical student, it is now a second nature for me to go about segregating, simplifying and classifying any data. And based on the current data in hand, I'm an acquired cherophobic.

Acquired. Conditioned and developed over a period of time, not innately grounded. They've been giving us examples since 7th grade about conditioned reflexes. You get up when the teacher walks into class, you learn how to manipulate a knife and fork, the dog salivates when the bell is rung...I get scared when happiness comes my way. Because this entity called happiness is only a guest appearance that vanishes even before you are done applauding. It walks in casually, fools with your head and strolls out just as casually. Every miniscule thing that holds the potential to make you smile, is a ticking time-bomb that will leave a trail of destruction.

Everything I had loved, I have lost.
And that has left me stone-cold scared. Scared to smile, scared to get attached, scared to live. I hate having put myself into such a place, but now I'm neck deep into this bog.

Tomorrow morning, that little percentage of my old self will chastise me for this post but the slowly deteriorating larger percentage of me will win its case. Once again old Nida will want to laugh, play, paint and be awesome. Once again, new Nida will deny it.
Aaj phir dil ne ek tamanna ki,
Aaj phir dil ko humne samjhaya.